Prologue - In Which Our Heroine Makes a Startling Decision

I most definitely couldn't begin to tell you what ever possessed me to decide to run a half marathon. I've never run a half marathon in my life. I've never run anything in my life! I mean, sure, I was on the track team in high school, but that doesn't mean I ran track, per se. Ok, yes, I dabbled in the odd hundred-meter relay or hurdles relay event here and there, and even participated in the long jump event when we were one girl shy of a brothel at a low-level meet, but for the most part I stuck to the shot put and the discus, which I was admittedly horrific at. Mostly because I barely tried and also because I'm not the most athletic of cats at the best of times. My idea of athleticism was participating in the Delta Upsilon Beer-lympics my junior year of college (ah, the good ol' days at the University of Florida - hence my color scheme of orange and blue).

So yesterday, while I was distractedly thumbing through an issue of some region-specific amateur athlete's magazine pretending to look for client placement ideas while really agonizing over how to tell my boss I was quitting, I was surprised not only to find my interest inexplicably piqued by an article on long distance running, but also by my ensuing determination to compete in the advertised half-marathon in November in Fort Lauderdale.

Since then, I have alternated between pure, unadulterated excitement at the thought of the process of training and becoming a more disciplined individual, and sheer, bowel-loosening terror at the thought of how much...activity goes into the process of training. See, I quite like my sedentary lifestyle. I like to go out for drinks with my girlfriends and share spinach dip appetizer with them and to treat myself to Taco Bell once a week (yes I know it's not a treat if it's on a regular basis - let me have my vices, ok?!). Now, I confess, I recently made a few healthy lifestyle changes: long ago I went from a regular smoker to a social smoker and within the last few weeks quit completely. I also went back to being what I like to call an "aquatarian" - the only meat I eat (for the most part) is seafood. I also work out regularly, though I may not work out as hard as I could or should. So I'm not a completely fat lump o'lard lazy-butt good-for-nothing, but I think you'll agree, I have a long way to go.

So, here I am. I've made the decision. Unfortunately for them, I've managed to rope a few friends into my training hell, so you'll be hearing about them frequently. Brief introductions follow:

Morgan - one of the few girlfriends I have that I don't have to look down at. Morgan and I both flirt with the six-foot mark. Morgan recently trained for and ran a 5K. She has agreed to help me train and plan for the first few miles worth of work, but doesn't think she'll be able to go much further than that. I'm hoping we can both prove ourselves wrong.

Brooke - also known as Shanequa. Don't ask why, because I don't know. Sometimes I just have moments of comic genius. Brooke is a newer friend of mine, but one of my favorites. Brooke is also a former runner who apparently has been looking to get back into the game recently, so she is my best bet for a consistent training partner.

Agustina - Agustina is my best friend. She won't be training with me, but because she's my best friend, she will get to listen to the bulk of my complaining. And retort wittily, as is her wont.

Elyssa - pronounced Eleeeesa. Another girlfriend of mine who will be training with me.

Al - what can I say about Al? He is simultaneously a source of constant amusement and constant annoyance. Al and I have a deep respect for each other and our more than just-a-little-twisted senses of humor. Al used to live in South Florida, but recently moved to New York, which is a shame because he motivates me in so many ways (and probably has no idea that he does) to become a more creative person as well as a more active, physically fit person. Likewise, I think I motivate him to be a little less serious, a little more silly, and a little more creative himself. Although we've never discussed this so I could be completely wrong. Who knows? Nevertheless, he's an amazing friend who I'm sure will be a long distance inspiration for me.

Mamadukes - ah, Mamadukes. The woman who birthed me from her loins. I can point out the gray hairs and wrinkles that I am solely responsible for on her sweet little head (not saying she's graying or wrinkly, it's more a figure of speech, ok Mamadukes?). Growing up, I always used to wonder how on God's green earth I grew up as outrageous, obnoxious, and opinionated as I did, until I recently realized that she is just as outrageous, obnoxious, and opinionated as me, she's just not as loud about it. I also recently realized that she has quite the wicked sense of humor, so that explains a lot about me, too.

So that's the cast in this crazy little stageshow. There are bit players, of course: Ashley the Intern, Tyler the cat, Salesgirl Lani, Diva, Supertrainer Nicole, UF Brandon, Roommate Amber, Kelstar... that's about it. I encourage everyone reading to leave tips, anecdotes, well-wishes, obituary samples, etc. My main goal in creating and maintaining this blog is my own accountability for what I'm already publicly promising to do. Help me hold myself accountable. Hound me, nag me, force me to train. Please. Otherwise this whole rigamaroll will end up being very embarrassing for me. And I do that to myself enough in the real world, do I really need to do it on the interwebs? No. No, I don't.